Hiatus is over

 The hiatus is over. It's been a few (or five) years since I've posted anything. It's about time I get back to the challenge of posting regularly.

So much has happened.

I graduated college.

At 50.

I began a Master's program. 

I took up kayaking.

I quit the masters program. 

I got a job.

A pandemic (or PLANdemic, depending on your point of view) happened.

My daughter got married.

We took our first vacation in years to the Badlands & Custer State Park.

My mother died.

My niece betrayed me.

My father-in-law died.

My son got engaged.

It's been a wild ride. I don't know whether I am grateful for the excitement or exhausted from the turmoil.

Either way...I'm back. Didja miss me?

My daughter go

Are We There Yet?

Remember as a kid and your parents put you in a car, said you were going to X, and it would be great once you got there? And you always wanted to be at the destination as fast as you could because you didn't want to go in the first place? Or you were tired of going somewhere you didn't know where you were going, or why? Remember how you bugged your parents with 'Are we there yet?' and when the answer was no, you'd whine and sigh and make life miserable for everyone involved?

As adults, we too often have that same destination focus. Except, as adults, it's a bit different.

We say things like:
'Once I get this house, I will be happy.'
'The minute I can get rid of X, everything will be ok.'
'Once Friday gets here, I can relax.'
'When my child becomes X, things will settle down.'

It's the same destination envy we had as children but morphed into adult terms. And we're still unhappy!

As adults, we've forgotten something very, very important.

But before I tell you what that is, let me try to explain it a different way and see if you can guess...

Remember as a kid and your parents told you that the family was going to Disneyworld on vacation?
Or to the beach?
Or to the mountains for skiing?
Or simply on a scavenger hunt and YOU held the map with secret clues?

Can you guess what it is yet?

Remember when you were a kid and the trip was so exciting you couldn't contain your joy?

As adults, we've forgotten what it felt like to have the journey be part of the joy.
We've been so pre-programmed to think deviation is devastation.

But it's not. Oh, it is so NOT devastation.
I remember I used to get upset when I'd take a wrong turn. A wrong turn is an obstacle, as I saw it. And we've all been taught an obstacle is a problem. A wrong turn meant unknown, unfamiliar streets, and trying to figure out on the fly how to get where I was going without turning around (Oh no! you can't go backwards! that's crazytalk!). So I would forge on, not knowing, and be upset that this mistake was adding time I didn't have to my trip, delaying me from getting to my destination.

Until one day I decided to embrace the suck. I decided to enjoy the wrong turns. Wrong turns were now obstacle illusions. I decided to look at the new world magically put in my path. I turned a wrong turn into part of my journey. And it turned out to be a joy. I was no longer irritated by wrong turns. I enjoyed them. I saw so many new things, beautiful things, scary things, weird things, fun things on those wrong turns, that they no longer angered me.

Life is like that.
Once you decide that how your life is, is how it is, and you enjoy, learn, and grow through the 'wrong' turns life throws at you, life ceases to be a huge struggle and and turns into something to be enjoyed, no matter where you are.
The reward is a bigger, richer, more rewarding life. Full of obstacle illusions, yes. But also full of magic, joy, fun, learning, and love.

The destination is the same for all of us. No, not death silly. Happiness. We all want to be happy.
So stop asking life, 'Are we there yet?' which takes happiness out of you, and instead take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and enjoy the journey. Because the journey IS life.

Christmas is 15 Weeks Away!

15 weeks away, or 3.75 months from now...
15 Friday paychecks away. Or
8 bi-weekly paychecks or
7 twice-a-month paychecks away.

In other words...it's CLOSE!

And just starting FT at my current job with my first FT paycheck in the middle of October....let's just say that it's a hand-made Christmas this year.

Because I must mail 90% of my presents.
OR
Take them with me (a month early) when I visit for Thanksgiving.

Either way...my butt better get in gear.

I have ideas....now to put them in motion...

So, what are YOU doing for Christmas?

That's Not Family

People that hurt others, on purpose, emotionally or otherwise, are not family.

Atticus Said...

"Let me die first or I will die twice."

That's basically how I feel about my husband, should he die before me.
Although he says I am not allowed to die first, that he must because he doesn't want to live without me.

I have found the one whom my soul loves...without a doubt, for better or wor...well, there is no worse. Ever. We don't fight.  We are in tune about 98% of the time. The other 2% we may not be in tune we are deeply respectful and give the other space and support (which we do all the time anyway, but for that 2% we are more so).

My husband's first marriage was not a happy one. However his divorce was not terrible.
My first marriage was hell. My divorce was akin to crossing the river styx in a dissolving boat with Captain Hook at the helm.

A friend of mine (she), my current husband (he), and myself (me) are all divorced. We joke about our ex's, as all divorcee's are wont to do....
She got stupid.
He got crazy.
I got evil.

Stupid...stupid is just hard to manage, not impossible. You're not sure if they're zigging or zagging. But overall, they have no real direction or plan to hurt you. It just happens occasionally.
Crazy...crazy is the easiest, if not the most frustrating. No matter what, you are guaranteed for them to do exactly what you don't want them to do if it will benefit you in any way...because if it benefits you, it's obviously not benefiting them (this applies even if it is mutually beneficial).
Evil...evil is the worst. Evil can pretend to be nice. Evil can stab you in the back while staring you in the face, and usually take glee in doing so. Evil doesn't care who they hurt, so long as it benefits them AND hurts you. Evil uses kids against the parent. Evil lies to your face, to the lawyer, and will pass the lie detector test doing so because evil *believes* they are telling the truth.

So when I say I love my husband...I *love* my husband. He is the opposite of my first husband. He is thoughtful, caring, polite, intelligent, smart, hard-working, loves the outdoors, and loves me deeply.

After living through the hell that was my first marriage, the reward is my current husband.

I cannot fathom should he die before me.  I know he feels the same of me.
That's why he says he gets to die first. And why I must go first.

But if he should die first, I will die twice.

Smells of Heaven, and Chipotle Mayo

This morning I remarked to my husband, 'Can we just put chipotle, vanilla, coffee, and cinnamon randomly around the house? Maybe with a campfire background? Because I'm pretty sure that's what heaven smells like.'

Easy, Fresh, Chipotle Mayo

And the funny thing? I wasn't joking. You want me to immediately be at ease? put me in the mountains, surrounded by trees....or have some chipotle, vanilla, coffee, cinnamon or campfire where I can smell it and I just melt.

He and I both love those five smells. The husband would have to add whisky to his favorite smells...especially that liquid campfire smelling Laphroaig he loves so much.

Fabulous 4-Ingredient Whole30 Fajita Crackers

Now, I know 'Whole30' and 'crackers' do not usually go together in the same sentence. But if you've been reading this blog a while, you know I've made this cracker before.

Since that time, I have experimented greatly with this recipe...and well, it's pretty much perfect....except....

Churning at the Price of Butter

You've seen it at your local grocers or in your weekly ad:
Butter on sale! Only $3.99 a pound! Down from $4.50...such a bargain!

Yeah...I may be old, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't that long ago butter was $2.00 a pound, then $2.50 and on sale for $1.99.

Ah, to dream...those days are long past, I'm afraid. My question is, will it ever return?

The Prepping Economist

I hoard butter.
Seriously, I do.

At any given time, I have between 15-20 pounds of it in my freezer.
Cheese? Yeah, not as crazy but I still like to have around 5-10 lbs of it, frozen. Mozzarella, cheddar, Monteray Jack, etc. You just never know when the mood for a quesadilla or pizza will strike!

My Family's World's Best Carrot Cake

When I was a wee lassie, I remember my mother making this incredible cake with the best frosting. I knew it had carrots in it, but couldn't figure out why it tasted so good. I hated carrots.
Of course, it was all the sugar. I loved sugar.
Not to mention the cream cheese. Oh, glorious cream cheese!

Take Your Accolades...Fabulous Homemade Croutons

Croutons are just multi-purpose little pieces of fabulous. Being soup season, we go through croutons a lot. Who doesn't love a nice, hot, french onion soup with melty cheese and croutons? Or baked potato soup? Or pasta e fagioli? I could go on and on...

They real are not just for crowning your salad. Nope. They have multiple uses like: