Monday, July 25, 2016

Pandemic A*holishness

I’m having back pain after moving a huge TV. My FIL is yelling at his daughter, while simultaneously babying his 27 year old asperger’s electrical engineer grandson. Neither of which deserve what they’re receiving from him.
I’m getting irritated. FIL is being rude and cruel, and I’m in pain. When it’s time to leave, my SIL and husband are in the kitchen, I stand up to say goodbye. But instead of giving my FIL a kiss on the head as I usually do, I turn to look at him and I raise my voice, “You need to quit yelling at her. And quit babying him. You are not doing him any favors, and he needs to grow up and get a real job!’ and I turn and walk out of the living room.
A couple hours later, I’m at home sitting on the couch waiting for the pain pill to kick in as my husband is at the grocery store. He knows I’m in pain so he went shopping so I didn’t have to. He also planned to cook dinner. He’s a good man. My cell phone rings and it’s my father-in-law. “Yeah, Rave? I just wanted to tell you when you talk to your mechanic about my car, don’t have him change the oil. Oh, and I quit yelling at SIL. I get in a rut sometimes and forget that I’m always yelling. I’m sorry.”
I accepted his apology, but reminded him it needs to be all the time, not just today.

Why can’t people just be nice? It’s not rocket science. So when I logged on to Facebook and read some of the cruel comments on my post about wanting to re-learn how to read a tape measure properly (I know 1/8”, ¼”, ½”, ¾” etc. but I don’t know the rest of the 8ths or the 16ths) as I currently say things like 8” and two notches.
My own cousin, former Air Force and a carpenter, said, ‘How long have you been in school?’ and ‘They make a tape measure for you, it’s called Tape Measure for Dummies’. Another commenter said something about a 64th measure.

I was livid. How dare they? Why is it when anyone posts about wanting to learn something, even something so simple as re-learning how to read a measuring tape, a*holes who DO know how to read a tape measure come out of the woodwork and must demean the person voicing their inability to do so and desire to learn? Does it make them feel powerful to belittle another person wanting to improve themselves? That’s despicable behavior. A contemptible, mean, despicable person is the very definition of an a*hole.
I am at a loss. WHY make fun of someone wanting to learn something long forgotten? Just because you may use a tape measure all the time doesn’t mean someone else does. Knowledge never used is lost.
What gives people the right to insult another’s lack of knowledge? What makes them think that making fun of someone is acceptable? Especially when that person admits their lack of knowledge and follows it with a desire to re-learn? What purpose does it serve to ridicule someone trying to better themselves? And please do not insult my intelligence and say you were ‘just teasing’. No, you weren’t. You meant every word, otherwise you wouldn’t have said (typed) it. You found a way to insult someone for not knowing something you know. You saw a chance to feel superior by ridiculing someone else who didn’t know something you do. I’m sorry, but if that’s how you must behave to feel good about yourself, I want you nowhere near me.
I went off. It could have been the back pain, but I’d had enough.
"People, including family, are a*holes.Stating that you would like to learn how to do something better apparently opens you up to ridicule because you're not a fracking carpenter or machinist or engineer.
Do I make fun of anyone for not knowing calculus? Excel spreadsheets? R? Forward markets? Cost benefit analysis? Covered and uncovered arbitrage? No. Because it's not your job. It's mine. So the next time (if there is a next time, because apparently showing a weakness or inability gets you mocked, while showing strength or knowledge gets you labeled egotistical, because as we all know, there's no winning one way or the other) someone decides to mock, make-fun-of, or otherwise bully myself (or a friend) because of it, I'll show them the unfriending door.”
I think this is pandemic of society in general. People feel so out-of-control and unsure of the world in general, they must find comfort any way possible. That includes belittling another person for not knowing something, attacking someone who does know something, and name calling those who do not agree with you.
If someone knows something you don’t, ask about it. Learn about it. If you have no interest in it, do not make fun of them for knowing it.
If someone doesn’t know something you do, offer to teach them. Don’t ridicule them.
And if someone disagrees with your opinion (politics, clothing styles, real sugar or Splenda) who cares?  Calling them names for not seeing what you see (or what you think you see) is NOT going to make them change their mind.
Has your mind ever been changed when someone called you an idiot? Probably not. If anything, it pi$$ed you off and you stood your ground even more.
Don’t be contemptible, mean or despicable. Don’t be an a*hole.
Help, ask, explain. Don’t demean, ridicule, degrade.

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